Ay patay. Ohno.

Tila nangyayari na ang kinatatakutan ng lahat; ang kinatatakutan ko.

This cannot work out the way I want it to

Ako'y natutumba.. Natutumba.. Paroo't parito.. Parang duyan. Paroo't parito.

It'll be emotionally stressful; a stretch for two.

Ilang tulak nalang at baka matuluyan na ako.

It takes two to tango. There's an open hand waiting to close as I put mine on it.

Tulong. Nahuhulog na ako. Saluhin niyo ako.

I'd like to think it was a nightmare; something I'd wake up to and forget after a few days.

Hindi ito maaari. Kailangang bumangon. Kailangang labanan ang bigat.

But it's not. Mali ito.

Bakit must ito come dito and banta everything aking built?

Halo.Halo.Halo.

I want it to go away. Yet it's like darkness consuming me.

A darkness I seem to enjoy swimming in.

Halo.Halo.Halo.

Goodbye to Packing for Aling Maria

I woke up today with the sound of silence. It was eerie and something I've never felt before. Then I remembered that it's June 1; that's right. aakyat na sila ngayon. Days before this, I did what I could to be able to go up today just so I could finally see myself apart from the enrolling students and accept that it's time to move on. Curse the distance and the rain. I was naturally not allowed to go and it saddened me because all of a sudden the rain stopped. Just before falling asleep, I could almost hear the sounds of crickets chirping, somehow still hoping that by some miracle I'd find myself back in Aling Maria's arms again.

 I woke up to the sound of silence and a clear-ish sky. Never in my life have I felt like the sky was mocking me. I lay in bed imagining what they could be doing: Payments, lining up, hellos with hugs, and cars being unloaded; some things I've been doing and gotten used to for the past four years. Up to now, it feels weird to be back home again. Done with the worries of packing, ranting about how summer is finally over, and making the most of every amenity at home. I am not the best acceptor of change and I guess it's a curse. It's funny how when I was still studying there, groans would always be my welcome message to Maria; I was hardly ever excited to go up. But now that it's over, there's nothing more I'd want right now than to be back up there feeling the breeze, seeing the beautiful view of Los Banos, being among people who share the same (or more) amount of passion for the arts, and living in Aling Maria's caring arms. It's funny how we can never be contented.

A new chapter will officially begin in a week and I am nothing but a nervous wreck. Like I said, I am not the best acceptor of change so God knows how I'll be dealing with meeting new friends and getting around my classes this time. God knows. Well, 'til then, I shall do what I can to make the most out of what's left of my beautiful summer. :)